Counting Scars

It looks like I may have acquired 6 scars from the spill I took last month on the trails in Des Moines. I usually proudly point out scars and dish the details, both interesting and not, pertaining to the event or circumstances resulting in the flaw. This outward posturing is in direct contradiction to my internal dialogue. Inside, I go through each story with careful attention to the failures and imperfections that led to the permanently marred flesh – which of course is a reminder of the failures…and around again I go.

Today, after I added the 6 new marks to my list of my visible defects on the skin, I decided it was time to let go. Instead of replaying the mistakes leading to disfigurement, I will look at these as evidence. This will remind me that I was in it. I tried. It’s not over. I’m still in the game and these aren’t even setbacks. I get these because I try not to give myself the opportunity to opt out or worse, go halfway. Yes, I am an adult woman who still has skinned elbows and knees but I am not on the sidelines. I am ok with that.

• 6 from the bike fall in October (user failure)
• 1 little one from the fall before that (too fast on the curve, leaned too far with the pedal in a 6 o’clock position)
• 1 from a gravel mishap
• 1 from my bike gear (looks like the large cog)
• 3 from a cat (passes for a run in with Freddie Krueger)
• 1 from an ice mishap
• 2 from removed moles
• 2 from piercings
• 1 from a cyst
• 2 from burns
• 30+ from 2 surgeries resulting from a ski accident
• 3 from a hurdling accident
• 1 from a barbed wire fence
• 1 from a chicken pock

Total: 55+ visible scars